You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
