there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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