two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You pole danced in your parka.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
