Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
