I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
