im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
