I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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