it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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