The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
