it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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