Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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