And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize