therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
