Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
