I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize