i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
