I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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