It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dicks are not precious.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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