How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm bleeding and have questions
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
