Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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