ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
