so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
