Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
