So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
