Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
