i barfeds in our rink
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize