the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
