Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
