do herpes really smell.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
