people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I understand Curling. That high.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize