I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
