hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
