Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
