Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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