Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
