I can text with my tongue
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
