ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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