Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
