Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
did you just send me my own nude
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
