yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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