that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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