We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
