Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
