I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
