He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
