he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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