How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize