Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I am mentally ready for anal.
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