...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
