This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
