I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
