the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
