Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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