You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
