At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Even the bartender felt bad for me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
