what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
