Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
