she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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